The American River

Posted on August 3, 2010 – 1:24 AM | by OldManFoster

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By Becky Grunewald Photos by Scott Duncan and BG

The things about Sacramento that are often referred to as “ghetto” or “busted” are some of my favorite things. On that list are South Sac, the bike trail, and the California State Fair. Topping that list is the much-maligned American River. If the river makes the Bee it’s because of a drowning or an island that becomes an impromptu mud wrestling pit. Many people think it’s just a haven for free-running pitbulls or simply confuse it with the silty not-fit-for-swimming Sacramento River. If people get in the river at all, it’s often at the confluence in Discovery Park. The terrifying date-rape flotilla of anchored boats that is a constant there during the summer months is enough to scare anyone away.

I’ll admit the bro-drinking-Keystone-Light level on the American River is high, but if you can find a bro-free spot to lay your towel you will be pleasantly surprised at the natural beauty and tranquility of our riverfront.

Sutter’s Landing-

I lived in Boulevard Park for almost two years before I figured out that I could ride my bike to a pleasant river spot in five minutes. A quick ride over the levee at 28th and C, past the hottest dog park in the world, park in front of the skate park and you’re almost there. The key is to keep walking to the right down the gravel path before cutting through the star-thistles down to the river. The river is shallow, lazy, and crystal clear at this spot (see cover photo –ed.), and wonderfully cold on a 102 degree day. I like to just bring a book and an umbrella and watch the cottonwood fluffs float by.

Bro level: 7. At first I rated it a 4 but last time I was there I saw a dude punch his pitbull, which makes it an automatic 7.

Can you drink beer?: I wouldn’t. Rangers patrol frequently, and I witnessed my friend getting a ticket.

Floatie friendly: yes

Monkey Island-

This is what my friends christened Glenbrook River Access way back in the ‘90s. It’s off La Riviera in College Greens. There is plenty of free parking near the Glenbrook little league fields, and then you make the long, hot walk to the river between the giant, loudly buzzing electrical towers. The killer walk makes the river even more refreshing. If you access the river towards the left you can easily ford the short distance across the swampy area over to Monkey Island and it’s smaller, sister island – Mysterious Mystery Island.

Whilst chilling here you’ll see plenty of cute baby ducks and lots of sunburned drunken people floating by. The river is deeper here, but still quite slow. This one is a nice bike ride from Downtown. You can cruise all the way up Elvas, stop at Cookie’s Drive-In for a “homemade with cheese”, catch the bike trail near Sac State, and trail it the rest of the way there.

Bro level: if you’re actually on Monkey Island, probably a 0 or a 1. You can see them, but you won’t be sitting next to them.

Can you drink beer?: Yes, but as always, be discreet.

Floatie friendly: very

These next two spots were shown to me by Olivia Coelho, the proprietress of Bows and Arrows and a hardcore river lover. In the summer Olivia takes a dip in the American as often as three times a week!

Paradise Beach-

Woah, woah, woah, don’t turn the page! Yes, I know Paradise Beach is one of the most bro-saturated spots, but if you stay away from the main part there are isolated alcoves dotting the riverfront. It may be best to go on a weekday. Olivia led me straight to a little spot where I could dive in right from the bank. It was so fun I kept doing it again and again. The river is swift here, but shallow. Our spot was periodically briefly invaded by packs of teens that would jump in and float far down the river.

Bro level: 3-in the isolated spots, a chance of bros but mostly clear

Can you drink beer?: Probably. There are rangers but they will most likely focus on the main area.

Floatie friendly?: No, the current is too swift.

William B. Pond recreation area-

To get to this one you just follow Arden east until it ends. You have to pay 5 bucks to park. Keep driving to the back of the parking lot as it winds around. If you park near the front instead you’ll be near a major debarking point for rafters and the river is swift and deep; not great for swimming. There are a ton of access trails all over the place. If you find a spot with bros, just keep walking. Eventually you’ll find an empty spot in which to chill. There is even a large fishing pond to float around in that was eerily empty of bros – indeed, anyone – on the day I was there. It’s probably totally polluted.

Bro level: 6

Can you drink a beer?: It’s pretty well-patrolled – smoke a joint instead.

Floatie friendly: Nope, not unless you want to drift far and walk back.

Good luck and if you do encounter a bro, it’s best to avoid eye contact and try to distract him by yelling “bro, your pitbull is attacking that chihuahua!” Then, run away.

Tags: American River, Becky Grunewald, Monkey Island, Paradise Beach, Scott Duncan, Sutter's Landing, William B Pond